[sticky post]So yes, I'm back. [Friends Only - Comment to be Added!]

These five made me happier than I ever thought I could be. Even though I might have gone on a different path and stopped being a devoted fan of theirs, I can never thank them enough for everything they have given me. They've shown me a hint of light against the darkness, and they made me smile through my tears. I can't bear to remove this picture from my journal, because if I do so, it's as if I'm breaking off a piece of my own self. To Ohno, Nino, Sho, Jun and Aiba - the five guys who made sure that I manage to live through every storm - Thank you.

I don't think I'll be accepting friend requests (or whatever you call them here) from now on. This journal is now for MY eyes only.

EDIT. 8/27/12. I wrote the post above give or take two years ago, and wow, time flies, huh? I came into this fandom a sophomore in high school and now I've graduated from college. I remember leaving the fandom some time during my freshman year in college, and though I don't regret that decision, I'm a bit wistful for times past. I've obviously missed a lot of milestones for Arashi, and though I'm really sad about that, I always knew that I would always come back to them.

And now I am. Back, I mean.

These boys mean so much to me. They inspire me. They make me smile, they make me laugh, they make me hope. Throughout the past two years, I DID check up on them every now and then, and every success they've garnered made me so proud. That hasn't changed. I doubt that will ever change.

So yes. I'm back.

And yes, I'm friending people again! Just leave a comment on this post and hit that 'add' button!

Oh, might I just add that I'm kinda part of the SMAP fandom now as well?

Time Time Time
I never have enough time to do all the things that I love anymore. All I do is eat, sleep, and work. It's not like I do THAT much, so how the hell am I so god damn tired almost all the time!?

I used to be able to catch up on my precious 'me' time during the weekend, but now...

No time to read.

No time to watch TV.

No time to watch football.

No time to post reviews and update my blog.

No time to sort out all the new links in Arashiproject.

I just sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Get myself ready for the upcoming week.

Wow. I really have to figure out how to manage my time effectively.

So I'm currently listening to pre-debut to 07ish KAT-TUN songs and wow I just want to cry. I miss 6-nin KAT-TUN so bad. And I can't even think of these disbandment rumors...

Double Standards.
A drama gets ratings higher than 15%. People call it a hit, and praise the leads.

A Kimura Takuya drama has an average rating of around 16-18%. People call it a disappointment.



I know that KimuTaku is famous for pulling in HUGE ratings (30%) for his past dramas, but at this time and age, it's IMPOSSIBLE to reach 30%. If you were to ask me why, I can't say I know the reason. Perhaps technology is a contributing factor. Maybe people prefer doing so and so with their gadgets as opposed to watching dramas. I don't know, really.

Truth be told, ratings higher than 20% are starting to seem impossible too.  At this time and age, ratings close to 20% are considered huge but people ALWAYS forget that when it comes to Kimura Takuya.


Compare TV ratings to album/CD sales if you must. They work the same way.

Times change, simply put.

My God I've turned into suge a huge KimuTaku fangirl in the span of a few short weeks. Nonetheless I always used to feel this way about ratings ever since I got into dramas since 2007 so here I am, finally blogging about it!

After watching Pride...
I am now officially a HUGE Kimura Takuya fan. I can't wait for his drama next season!

Also, I probably won't be able to keep from smiling every time I hear the words 'maybe' and 'must be' from now on.

I'm sorry, but I just CANNOT GET OVER at how good this drama is, and how AMAZING Kimura Takuya is as an actor. As far as dramas with love stories go, Pride is the best by a long shot. But it's not all about love either! The other facets of the story (friendship, sports, camaraderie, dreams, coming to terms with the past, coming to terms with yourself, etc.) are all unbelievably good as well. Oh, and can I just say that the love story in this drama is in no way half-assed?

Ugh, I will SO rewatch this soon.

And lastly...

Pride is now officially my favorite Jdrama of ALL TIME.

Being a fan kind of sucks sometimes.
Sometimes I get this physical ache when I realize that now matter how big a fan am I, despite being utterly dedicated and incredibly supportive, despite loving them with every fiber of my being...

I may never get to meet them.

Heck. Let's be realistic here.

I most probably will never be able to meet them no matter what I do.

I kinda wish I had a bajillion connections and had tons of money just so I can watch concerts and sporting events live, but hey, life's life.

I wish that I can get to meet them though.

I just want to say 'Thank you. You changed my life.' and maybe get an autograph or a have a picture taken with them, and carry that memory with me forever.

Goodness. 1 minute. That's all I ever want... and can never have.

*Rolls Eyes*
Honestly, isn't it kind of pointless to compare AKB48 and Arashi?

First of all, they may be both idols, but they cater to completely different markets. Moreover, Arashi has been in the business for almost 15 years already (they debuted in 1999) and AKB48 has only been active for 6 years. From these two points alone, comparing them is already a moot point - admit it.

But hey, let me entertain you 'fans' who just LOVE comparing idol groups.

I respect AKB48, don't get me wrong, but I hate it when their fans make comments on how amazing it is that they have achieved SO MUCH very early into their careers and then proceed to compare AKB48's sales figures with Arashi's... Let me put things in perspective for you - technically, isn't it more amazing that Arashi is STILL so successful, considering that they're almost at 15 years as a group? Simply put - LONGEVITY. Not everyone has that going for them.

PLEASE. Just STOP throwing shade at Arashi. They sure as hell DON'T DESERVE IT.

I'm rewatching Yamada Taro Monogatari, and I just can't stop marvelling at how different Sho and Mimura are.

Mimura's so cool and Sho's a wee bit dorky (come on, admit it!), and I find it amazing that Sho can portray a character like Mimura so effectively.

I really didn't appreciate this drama the first time I watched it, but I'm really liking it now more and more. I never realized just how central Mimura is to the story until now!

Questions and Answers
"It had never occurred to me that our lives, so closely interwoven, could unravel with such speed. If I'd known, maybe I'd have kept tighter hold of them."

At what point are you supposed to stop calling a person your friend? At what point are you supposed to stop reaching your hand out, finally letting go of that hope that his fingers would grasp yours back, flicker out? At what point are you supposed to step back and accept that some things just are not meant to be? Should you give up, or should you keep fighting for what you once had? Should you back yourself in a corner, sit down, draw your knees up to your chin, and bow your head? Should you refuse to let go, and muster all the strength that you have to hold on for dear life?

Life has too many questions, yet offers too few answers. It gets tiring wading in and out of the unknown - expecting the best, yet coming out with tears clogging your throat and with helplessness engulfing your very being. As difficult as it may seem, however, you have to keep fighting, to keep trying, for everything that you rightfully deserve. Because if you yourself don't try, who else is going to try for you?

Here's to Closure - Logan and Veronica

That final scene (the scene showcased above) - that final ambiguous scene between Logan and Veronica where we're left to ponder for HOURS just what that exchange of smiles between Logan and Veronica meant - is open to interpretation. Rob Thomas, creator of Veronica Mars did tell us what he wanted to portray, but then again, I didn't waste hours thinking this scene over without me sharing my interpretations with other people. So, here we go!

Honestly, Logan beating up that guy who harassed and disrespected Veronica - even after Veronica telling Logan that the guy was like part of the Mafia or something - just shows that he will do anything for Veronica, that he would always put her first no matter what, and also,that he would do anything that he feels is right, no questions asked. That's just who he is, period. And the thing is, he has finally accepted that. He finally accepted who he is. In some ways, he may have reverted to his old 'obligatory, psychotic jackass ways' that we were privy to the first season, but then again that would always be part of who he is, and he ACCEPTS that. I do believe that's what (other than him showing his love for Veronica) his smile to Veronica meant. Veronica's smile, meanwhile, is reflective of her realization that that Logan (you know, beating people up) she just witnessed is HER Logan. They were the two people in the world who were able to accept each other whole-heartedly no matter what. Moreover, when she sees Logan apologizing to Piz for beating him up (remember, he thought that Piz was the one responsible for spreading the video), thus proving to her that Logan IS capable of changing, and also that Logan doesn't need to change who he is ENTIRELY for her to love him, that was it for Veronica. That was what made her realize that Logan is the guy she will always love no matter what. She loves Logan, simple as that. Lastly, Piz witnesses the silent exchange between Logan and Veronica, and after catching Veronica watching Logan with a wistful and mystified expression, he just knows that he will never be able to compete with their love, whatever he does. Veronica catches him staring, and the final look Veronica gives Piz is just reflective of her realization that she will be never able to feel for Piz what she feels for Logan. She knows it, Piz knows it, and they are both aware of what each other knows.

To wrap this up, let me quote Rob Thomas directly - "The way Veronica has looked at Logan and the way she looks at you (Piz), you know you aren't going to be the winner. At the end of the day you can't compete with what is going on between the two of them." So in a nutshell, though other people may think that the series ended with Veronica and Piz together, that isn't exactly true. After all, Rob Thomas himself made it absolutely clear that it would always be Logan and Veronica in the end.

Even though the final scene between Logan and Veronica was really too ambiguous, I felt that it reflected their relationship perfectly, that things would never be a hundred percent hunky dory between them. Truth be told, I loved that about them. I don't know, I liked their final scene together. It depicted an open ending, true, but still, at least we know what the future has in store for Logan and Veronica.

To end this monologue of mine- let me end with a very pragmatic dialogue between Logan and Veronica. I believe this sums everything up.

Logan: No, so I asked you to stop putting yourself in danger, and you told me to piss off. Then I hired someone to protect you.
Veronica: You had no right to do that.
Logan: Look, that’s probably true…okay? It’s just I don’t care.
Veronica: You don’t care?
Logan: Look, I don’t give a rat’s ass if it’s right or fair. I don’t care if you’re angry. I care that you’re safe.
Veronica: That’s all sweet and great, but it doesn’t really work that way. It’s not like this is all some new facet of my personality. You know who I am! You know what I do.
Logan: And?
Veronica: And…it isn’t gonna change. And if you can’t accept that, this isn’t gonna work.
Logan: You know who I am. And you’re constantly expecting me to change. And even right now, as you’re thinking, “crap, he’s got a point,” you still think you’re ultimately right.
Logan: I love you, Veronica.
Logan: I love you.
Logan: But, do you love me?
Veronica: Yeah.


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